Seattle Public Library Inspires Heather With Life Vision.

Okay, so I'm getting a bit self-conscious that lately these entries have been much more about me than they have been about students. I don't remember where I was reading it...somewhere...where somebody said something... eugh... danggit, I don't remember...anyways, they said, "The first ten years you are in ministry are more about what God does to you than about what God does through you." I was like, "Euk! How discouraging..." It feels self-centered so much of the time. But if the purpose of this page is to share the inner mindset of a "youth worker," (which is my blog's ambiguous statement of purpose,) well, then, so-be-it what it is. *End of rationalization.*

Today, I did something that I've been wanting to do ever since I stepped foot in the grand city of Seattle, which was to sit in the Seattle Public Library. This was my month to plan Stuart, Bronco and I's "Day-Out" of the office for team meeting and fellowship...so we headed down I-5 to exit 165A towards the Seattle Public Library. It's an amazing 11-Story glass building, which opened in Spring 2004, and after gawking at the 10-Story atrium, the 4 floors of spiraling Dewey Decimals, and the 200-computer "Mixing Center," I found a quiet spot in a remote corner of the 10th floor, which had me at birdseye-level with skyscrapers and a clear view of Elliott Bay (which is a fancier name for the part of the Puget Sound that reaches into Seattle.)

I pulled out my journal and ending up sketching a web diagram called "Fusion of Outdoor and Creative Arts Ministry," which I suppose is becoming my idea of what I would love to do more than anything else in the world...I would love to run a creative arts program for students in some beautiful, inspiring mountaintop locale...and while I've been milling it over in my brain for months, no, take that back, years...today was one of the few times I've put thoughts down on paper. I even started make a list of "Choose-Your-Own-Adventure," Grad School coursework related to the subject areas...

I don't know what that means for my future at all really, because I don't necessarily think it's a project I should launch out and start tomorrow...(It's feels a bit like a sketch that Maude Flanders made of "Praise-Land," her idea for a Christian-themed amusement park which she designed with the wistful thought, "Someday"...See Simpsons Episode "I'm Goin' to Praiseland, Original Airdate 6 May 01.)

I do know, without a doubt, that I have absolutely no idea where I'm going in 2006. So. As New Year's Resolutions and things like that begin to come about very soon, my basic agenda for 2006 is to try to be very quiet and listen to the still-small voice which may be trying to give me foresight and direction. That may mean another year in Arlington with YD; that may mean Grad School in any number of places; and it may mean a number of other things.

I am looking forward to 2 1/2 weeks of talking with friends and family and traveling, and I'm looking forward to reading and journaling in my mother's glassed-in reading room surrounded by freshly fallen snow...because I am in desperate need of discernment and direction.