Perspective.

The frustration I have been feeling for the past ten days has finally faded, (Praise the Lord!) and I'm feeling much more like myself. Thank you for your prayers, because I know they are a huge part of my upswing.

C.S. Lewis wrote in A Grief Observed, "No one ever told me grief felt so like fear. I am not afraid, but the sensation is like being afraid." His idea has brought insight into the complexity of my own emotional responses, and I can trace back the last several weeks into the following flow: 1. "2 1/2 weeks of intense interaction with family and friends." 2. "returning home to an apartment away from these people to live alone." 3. "grief." 4. "incorrectly identifying my own grief as fear." 5. "yearning for a life in which I perceive I would be safer and less afraid. (i.e. married/family/stability.)" 6. "realizing my feelings were grief (not fear) and accepting the grief for what it is." 7. "waking up feeling normal again."

So. There you go.

Good things are happening right now in ministry. I am spending M,W,F mornings helping students write English papers, which I love. I am spending weekend evenings hosting movie nights at my home, which I also love. And tomorrow, I am beginning an accountability/prayer group with three of my student leaders.

Good things are happening in my personal life, too. One of my friends and I are going to begin meeting together to talk/pray and read Captivating by Stasi and John Eldredge. And my car insurance rates are going to drop this year, because, in eleven days, I turn 25.