We are all gathered at the Stonewater Ranch.

(Photo on right is Pam and I anticipating intense Seahawks/Steelers matchup. Photo on left is me prophesying the beating that the Steelers will endure.)


So. I debuted three original songs to the staff this week. They got to enjoy Barrista Boy for the first time...and they got to hear "Training Days," which is a song I wrote about Whitewater Raft Guide Training and "Stonewater Ranch," which is the theme song for our new 130-Acre camp in the Cascade Mountains. The point is, that really, for the first time since arriving in Washington, my YD staff got to see a bit more of who I am.

I was set to be the worship leader for our 3-day Conference, where our staff of about 40 people from Washington, Oregon, and Idaho gathered together...the room is still about 50% married men over the age of 30, although I have to say the number of woman and younger, unmarried men was in a higher ratio form than I've ever seen it. (Yay for that!) And I totally enjoyed being able to take responsibility in the worship area...it's much harder for me to lead worship for adult co-workers than it ever was to lead worship at camp--maybe because I know their expectations are higher--or maybe because I'm truly trying to create a community and an atmosphere of worship...and I wonder if my acoustic guitar and voice can really do that.

But it seemed to go well...and they seemed appreciative...and I was just appreciative to interact throughout the Conference in a comfortable spot for me--in front and leading.

Without intending to do it--I led a devotional time on Wednesday morning that ended up directing the course of our 3 days together. I read from Kathleen Norris' The Cloister Walk (see Sidebar) and compared it to the Fellowship of the Believers in Acts 2. I challenged us as a group to consider ourselves NOT a corporation, but a community...and I defined the differences. My coworkers seemed wide-eyed and attentive, which was unusual for me, because what I was delivering was much more a sermon than it was a testimony. The Leadership Team ended up changing the schedule for the conference later in the day to allow more time for community-building, and they referred to it as the 'weekend theme.'

Yesterday, I was approached by at least five of my coworkers (all of these five coworkers being married men, over the age of 30, with significant amounts of ministry experience) and they thanked me for my leadership over the conference and thanked me for sharing different pieces of myself. They said they were glad to have gotten to know me better this week.

And I felt affirmed and encouraged. Also encouraged by the fact that my coworkers gifted me and my coworker Brian with the BARNABAS Award, of all things. This is the award that's given out every year by the staff to the person who's been a source of encouragement and service to the staff. As an angsty, sarcastic, often-sullen-type, I once told Bronco, "The day I win the Barnabas award is the day the earth stops spinning on its axis," because the award seems to typify a recognition of the consistently sweet, supportive, encouraging types, of which I'm much to angsty and witty to really ever be. But apparently, people still find me encouraging??? So...what do I know about anything, really.

I do know that I care an awful lot about the ministry work that YD does, I care an awful lot of what we're capable of doing in the future, and I care an awful lot about the community of the staff team. I know that I'm capable of doing a LOT more than what my current ministry role is, and as I'm trying to flush out where to go/what to do in the next stage of my life, I certainly want to discern how YD can continue to be a part of it. And this weekend showed me that my gifts DO have a place within this ministry, even if it's for something as basic and important as encouragement. So. God and I are going to be talking a lot this month. That's another entry for another day.