For the past 12 hours, I have been playing Anna Nalick's Breathe over and over and over.
I suppose I connect with these words a bit too much today:
"2 AM and I'm still awake writing this song.
If I get it all down on paper it's no longer inside of me
Threatening the life it belongs to.
And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd
Cause these words are my diary screaming out loud
And I know that you'll use them however you want to.
But you can't jump the track. We're like cars on a cable
And life's like an hourglass glued to the table.
No one can find the rewind button now.
Sing it if you understand
And breathe. Just breathe."
This morning I sat in church, feeling numb and feeling bound to a life that I don't really understand. I'm going to spend the afternoon in contemplative reflection, and this feels necessary. I don't really have a vision for where life is taking me next...
Sunday, January 08, 2006
Life's Like an Hourglass Glued to the Table.
Posted by hmb at 12:19 PM
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3 comments:
Heather,
Just wanted you to know that I am praying for you and your sense of numbness... I have been there, too... especially after the senior pastor's son at my last church (and sophomore in my youth group) committed suicide about 7 years ago.
Life is difficult, ministry is messy, and we seldom get the answers we are wanting from the Lord when we want them...
All that being said, I wouldn't want to live any other way than doing what I trusted God was asking me to do, every step of the way, one day at a time... knowing that sometimes I was blindly stumbling, but also knowing that I have a God that is bigger than all that and loves me despite my limited understanding and mistakes.
I hope your reflection time helped... just don't ask God to give you too much of the future picture right now, okay? Just a little advice/love/encouragement from this 30-something youth pastor to someone I see struggling.
Blessings,
Chris <><
chrishaughee@juno.com
Heather,
I'm sorry for the frustration you are experiencing. I'll be keeping you in prayer this week. I've found that when I experience times like this, it often brings me to a time of experiencing God outside of the context of what I do for Him. Simply He and I together. So I'll be praying that you can be refreshed as you continue to seek His will.
contemplative?
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