The Joys/Pains of Chiropractic Care

toothpastefordinner.com

The imminent time has arrived: it's time to go back to the chiropractor.

There seem to be a lot of opinions out there on chiropractors...I was raised by a mom and a dad and grandparents who always went to the chiropractor...and it seemed to be the thing to do.

Then--somewhere in health class they told us that chiropractors weren't really perceived as medical professionals...which is pretty confusing because they have the title "Dr." And when I was in high school, I had scoliosis, but going to the chiropractor only made things hurt worse most of the time, so I didn't like going. So I stopped going and signed off on chiropractic care (circa 1996).

Then, circa 2004, I was in this car accident and a few months later, I got really severe pain in my back, and I cried out, "Chiropractor, save me!" And he did. He pointed at an x-ray of my head and compared it to levitating a bowling bowl on a toothpick. (And I was like, man...4 years of school, and they couldn't teach you a more applicable metaphor?) But after 3x a week for like, a long time, and I got waaaaay better, and I was like, "Chiropractors are amazing!" Until my claim ended and they started charging me $50 per appointment, and I was like, "for $200 a month I could fly to Vegas and visit my favorite man-made things." (n.b. not that I WOULD do this, only to say I could party in Vegas or go to the chiropractor...not a hard choice.) I was like, "Chiropractic care is dumb again."

Until now. I spent most of yesterday lying on a couch, popping ibuprofen and rubbing my neck because two years post-chiropractor, it hurts really bad again. I lost range of motion, and my arms and legs started losing feeling. So...I know I need to go back and get continuing care on my neck.

This is annoying, because health insurance considers chiropractic care to fall under the deductible, and I want to go, "Stupid health care! I can't nod my head! I give you hundreds of dollars every month! Pay for something!"

So why do I pay hundreds of dollars for the just-in-case I get my arm mangled in a freak landscaping accident but not in case my chronic neck pain reemerges? How can health insurance compartmentalize my body like that?

And it's annoying because every time I move, I have to find new doctors...which requires waiting lots of days to get an appointment. And lots of small talk get-to-know-you doctor chatter.

But--there is the hidden bonus of going to the chiropractor: referrals to the massage therapist! Yes! Somehow this makes the whole thing worth it!

Anyways, on Wednesday morning, I'm headed to the chiropractor, when they'll tell me my neck is screwed up and I need a bazillion dollars in care, and I'll say, "Yes please." Mostly so I can feel my arms again.

This is all.

Championship Woes

This year, Ohio is begging the question, "Is it better to noticeably come in 2nd place? Or is it better to not make it to championship games at all."

The evidence being as follows:
NBA: Spurs vs. Cavs
NCAAB: Florida vs. OSU
NCAAF: Florida vs. OSU

If the Indians could lose the World Series and the Browns could lose the Super Bowl, it would be a very well-rounded year, I think.

Ode to Portland

Over Memorial Day weekend, I went to visit friend Sonja in Portland. She recently moved there to start a new life/job, and I was excited to spend the weekend exploring an under explored town.

There were lots of good times to be had:

• visiting Imogo Dei Community. This church is the home church of Donald Miller, and Sonja has begun attending there. There's a strong sense of artistry and active community service.
  
• eating dinner at Andina (Johnny P and Drew, this should be on your list of mileage runs--eating at this restaurant). The food was Peruvian, our waiter was beyond impressive, and the atmosphere was killer.
  
• catching 300 at McMenamin's Kennedy School. It's not everyday you can see a movie while sitting on a couch in a restored school auditorium with a pub in the next room.
• visiting Powell's Books, one of America's premier independent bookstores, which seriously, is like, the size of a shopping mall.
• going to the Japanese gardens and discovering a new potential hobby! This was an amazing Japanese garden, too, as far as Japanese gardens go...5.5 acres of greenery. (P.S. Did you know that the Druids of Stonehenge influenced the Japanese gardeners? It's true! Look below!)

So, in retrospect, I've definitely decided that I desire a Japanese garden in my future. Preferably with a coy pond, a waterfall, and little stones with original haiku scattered across the backyard. I will do Tai Chi there. It will be a good time.

Now, the only thing I have to do is buy a house, hire a landscaper, hire a part-time gardener, and learn Japanese and Tai Chi.

Because that is a lot of work, for the time being I'm very glad to share a house with Heidi, who's taking it upon herself to landscape our entire yard while I smile and watch from the window. There's even a mini-Japanese garden by the back door. For now, this will have to suffice for satisfying my Japanese Gardening needs, until I manage to grow a green thumb myself. Someday in the near future, I will take a photo of the landscaping because it will make last month's trip to the dump all the more exciting!

(P.P.S. Did you know that Japanese Gardeners patented putt-putt? It's true! Look!)

"I'm Fixin' To": An introductory Guide to Texas

From May 9th-14th, I visited the Lone Star State. The intent of this trip was to meet Clay's family and attend Clay's sister's college graduation from Abilene Christian University. This was only my second trip to Texas ever. (The first trip was last October for the Youth Specialties' Convention in Austin, when I met Clay.) So--this was my first real immersion into Texas culture.

To capture an entire state in one blog based on a 6-day visit seems rather ridiculous...so I'll merely give you the Texas Top 5...which is definitely the Top 5 conclusions I deduced about Texans based on my observations of the state.

1. Texans love their state flag.
   
   Seriously...I'm telling you...the state flag is everywhere and on everything. My absolute favorite Texas- flag- themed item I saw for sale was this snazzy desk chair in Abilene. Who would not want to sing Deep in the Heart of Texas everyday at work when sitting in one of these?!
   
   While eating lunch in Fredericksburg, TX, I swear to you I saw no less than a hundred Texan flags hanging from businesses on the main drag. I suppose this would not seem so odd if any of the other three states I've lived in loved their flag this much. But Texas is the only state I know of that has a Pledge of Allegiance to its state flag, so at least there is consistency to the passion.
   
   So, FYI, Texans love their state flag.
   
   
   
2. Texans love their state history.
   
   They love it so much, that there are markers posted approximately every fifty feet that recount important historical events which may have happened on this exact spot. Here, Clay shows off the very marker that commemorates the first railroad across West Texas. It would certainly be an impressive collector's item to visit all of the significant railroad-related Texas State history markers. In fact, I have just added this to my to-do list!
   
   
   
   
   
3. Texans love tortilla soup.
   
   I had never before in my life eaten tortilla soup, but I think I ate it once per day on my visit to Texas. When I heard "tortilla soup" I was thinking it would look like a can of tomato soup poured over top of a tortilla. This was not true. It actually looked like this. Tortilla soup is the best-dressed soup I've ever seen. It gets an A+++ for presentation and an A+++ for taste. My newest favorite food!
   
   
   
4. Texans believe their state to be really, really important.
   
   I hesitate to be so brash as to generalize to say that Texans have a warped view of geography...but this photo from a children's book that I've loosely titled, Indoctrination to the Superiority of All Things Texan should speak for itself:
   
   
   
   The state is really large, this is true. I mean, in the time I can be in California, you can drive from east Texas to central Texas. But seriously, this map is OUT OF CONTROL! Look! Texas basically goes from Mexico to North Dakota and from San Bernadino to Alabama. What is going on?! This is not an accurate depiction of reality!
   
   Our trainer on our new database who is from Dallas claims that this is evidence of Texans poking fun at themselves. I call it infantile brainwashing! Beware!
   
   
5. Texans are people too.
   
   So while in general I'm confused about the Texans' love for Texas, I enjoyed my time spent meeting and interacting with Texans. Every Texan I met was friendly and more than excited that I was visiting their state. And, they have nice accents. Also, I ate some fantastic food while I was there (ribs, BBQ, tortilla soup, enchiladas, horchata) meaning that Texans are good cooks, which speaks to my soul's core.
   
   It's definitely true that with all the crazy indoctrination, Texans grow up to be real people (i.e. Clay and family...although maybe I'm biased). It's also true that every state has its own quirks (i.e. Ohio's passionate love for a poisonous nut or North Webster, Indiana's Mermaid Festival or eco-friendly Seattle's aversion to mass transit).
   
   So I'm probably willing to let Texas off the hook if they are willing to put actual maps into their children's books and occasionally imply that there are other states besides Texas.
   

One thing that is not true about Texas--all of my exes do not live there. But the sage in bloom is like perfume...

To the dump...becoming an empowered woman through the transportation of trash.

My dad has this joke he used to like to tell that went like this:

Q: Where does the lone ranger go to take out his trash?

A: "To the dump...to the dump...to the dump, dump, dump!" (To the melody of the ever-popular tune...of course...)

Nice, dad...anyways...so yesterday Heidi and I cleaned out the backyard, a project she's been wanting to do since we moved in. We borrowed a truck from a local teenager and took it upon ourselves to load up the bed and haul off the garbage. (By took it upon ourselves, I mean, Heidi really wanted to do it, and I've been working hard to be more astute at "helping" people in need of assistance...so I helped. As much as scrawny-armed girls with no basic knack for manual labor are able to help in such scenarios.)

My basic job was as "The Compactor." Heidi says this gets to be my professional wrestling name...and with that name, I already have my patented move...it looks like this: {{ jump up and down on your opponent repeatedly, as hard as you can, crushing them into submission. }} This was my job description as "The Compactor," when I crushed an entire truckbed full of yard waste (tree branches, etc) into submission. This was all so that we could load up as many tree branches and as much junk as possible into the truck bed to take a huge load to the dump.

Then Heidi and I broke out the bungee cords and ratchet straps and nailed the whole thing down under the tarp, praying that tailgaters weren't taking their lives in their hands as we drove 40mph down the state highway with 4-ways flashing.

But the entire process of prepping and unloading the junk at the dump was extremely cathartic. as we pulled the junk and the tree branches (and in some cases--actual trees) into the dumpster, there was a lot of joy and singing from Heidi and I...and as we looked down into the dumpster to see our day's work successfully thrown away, we giggled and celebrated. We--two adult single women, had loaded (with the help of guy friend Mark) an entire truckbed full of junk, strapped it down ourselves, driven it to the dump, and disposed of it. How wonderful!

And the best part was that we didn't even have to do such a task on our own crying, "I'm alone!" We got to do it together and rejoice in the delights of cleaning up the backyard.

I was so motivated by our productiveness that I came home and hemmed two pairs of pants. Just call me industrious, because it was true.

And then to celebrate, we treated ourselves to Chinese Takeout and a movie. Not to mention, the already better joy of a cleaner, friendlier yard.

So...if you have never been to the dump, you deserve to go. It's cathartic, and it's useful as a metaphor for oh-so-many things... Plus, when you go to the dump, you can walk into your office on a Monday Morning singing a friendly little tune: "To the dump, to the dump, to the dump, dump, dump!"

Brandi Carlile Sings The Beatles!

This makes me happier than most things in the world...Brandi Carlile singing Paul McCartney... (The Beatles' "I've Just Seen A Face.")

Ode to Kettle Chips

oh dear kettle chips
how i love your crunchy bod(y)
how you make me smile!

lovely kettle chips
staring at me from my desk
beck'ning me to eat

precious kettle chips
perfect every afternoon
world's best snacky food

darling kettle chips
all your flavors overwhelm
my picky palate

glo'rious kettle chips
how i love ingesting you
without aftertaste

healthy kettle chips
made of all things natural
you're my waistline's friend

Come Visit Me!

Do you live within driving distance of any of the following cities:

Columbus, OH
Greensboro, NC
Ft. Lauderdale, FL
Boston, MA
Richmond, VA
Kansas City, KS

If so, you can get way cheapo flights to come to visit me sometime in the next six months on SkyBus!

It's a new startup airline that's offering flights for $20 one-way to and in and out of Columbus...so, if you're in one of those cities, you can fly through Columbus and come to visit for uber-cheap...if you're in Columbus, it could be as cheap as $40 round-trip, and in one of the other cities, $80 round-trip.

This might be one of those offers that doesn't really pan out because the airline tanks, but if it doesn't, I say "Woohoo!" because I have a $40 ticket to Ohio.

So...come to visit. The flights from Columbus come into the Bellingham, WA airport, which is about 30 minutes from my house. Sweet deal!

Congratulations!

I'd like to give two shout-outs to three of the most important people in my life: Mom, Dad, and Renee!

First, congratulations to Mom and Dad. In February, they were honored by the International Grocer's Alliance (IGA) as International Retailer's of the Year. They got these spiffy jackets and accepted their award at a ceremony in Miami. You can read the press release here. Sean and I weren't able to be there with them to celebrate (bummer), but if we would have been, we would have smiled like this and said, "We are so proud of mom and dad for so many fantastic years in the Grocery Business!"

So Congratulations to Baker's Foods for being the best of East Central Ohio's--and the world's--independent grocery stores!


Congratulations also to Renee, one of my best friends over the past eight years, who was recently accepted to University of Pittsburgh to pursue an MFA in Writing (Creative Non-Fiction). For those of you who know and love Renee, you know that this is something Renee has been building towards over her entire life. And--she just called me this morning to let me know she's secured funding for the fall! So! Congratulations to Renee, who will soon be on a Barnes and Noble bookshelf near you!

Anyone who gets a public shout-out of congrats on backroads-midwest-coast also wins one of these, hand-made from the world's best balsa wood...(you know...balsa wood...the kind of wood they use to make those never- work- right- when- you- get- them- home boomarang airplanes they try to sell kids from the mall kiosk?)

Tiptoeing Through the Tulips: Mount Vernon in April

I'm going to go out on a limb and clue you into an assumption you're free to make: if your out-of-state boyfriend flies up to Washington to visit you three times in three months, it's getting serious.

Clay came up to visit again this weekend, using some well-earned days off to tiptoe through the tulips with me. I'm not joking when I use that cliche...actually, as you can see here, Clay in particular did more than tiptoe:



Our weekend together began with an extremely intense game of Cranium with ten or so of my favorite Washington friends, in which all of the following truths were discovered:
1. adding hot water to Cranium clay does not make it pliable, even if the clay is being fixed by a man named Clay.
2. doodling while blind is not necessarily easier even if you're half-blind already.
3. trying to act out "mermaid" while on dry land more closely resembles bungee jumping or epilepsy that it does "scaled woman of the sea." (see MerEsther, to your left.)

Regardless, as is always the case in Cranium, a good time was had by all, and no one is 100% sure what the official rules of the game are. Thanks to Jade, Jed, Rider, Esther, Lizzy, Bethany, Zach, C, Becca, and Heidi for a fantastic game night.

Another highlight of the weekend was discovering that the Skagit Valley Co-op is one of the most amazing places in the entire world. First of all, their fresh-made sandwiches and soups are to die for, second of all, the atmosphere is killer, and third of all, Clay and I were able to sit in the upstairs mezzanine near the "Mercantile Shop" and read without distraction for several hours. It's pretty much the most fantastic thing in the world to realize I can shop local, get food I love, purchase coffee and chai, and have a great place to read all in the same spot. And Clay thinks it's the best place in the world to be also, so it's definitely convenient to be able to share it.

A definite weekend highlight was visiting the nearby tulip fields. Every April, the Skagit Valley (where I live) bursts out into full-colored tulips. This field we're standing in front of represents one of about 30 or so fields of tulips and daffodils that erupt every April. People go crazy for these flowers, hopping on busses to visit them, spending exhorbatant amounts of money on local tulip art. And--it's like an official rite of passage if you live in/near the valley you must get your picture taken in a tulip field. So--I am an official resident of the Skagit Valley as a direct result of this photo. And--I officially dedicate this photo to Renee, who has taught me 90% of what I know about what it means to be Dutch and what it means to celebrate the birth of tulips each spring.

We also finally watched Blood Diamond, which I'd been wanting to see for ages. Fantastic performances from Leo and Djimon Hounsou. Movies like this and The Constant Gardener have been reminding me lately how I do dearly love Africa and am definitely not doing enough to advocate for better approaches by the West towards Africa.

Both of these films are good introductory education for westerners on how African civil wars are impacted by the diamond trade and how Western countries exploit Africa for profit. Here's an article from the UN about conflict diamonds, which I strongly recommend you read through and educate yourself on before you purchase your next diamond. I've also heard recommendations from various sources to check into Canadian diamonds, as they are definitely conflict-free.

So. I hope you glean something in there that's good information for a Monday afternoon. If not, at minimum, here's some new wallpaper for your computer. I invite you to become a part of Clay and I's community of prayer as we tiptoe into figuring out how to share life and move towards a future together, whatever that's going to look like: