Lifestyle Changes

I've decided not to go back to Seminary next quarter, mostly because it was cutting into my knitting time.

It was only a few weeks into this quarter when I realized, "This isn't working. I don't care how much aptitude I have to think critically about theological issues, I want to knit and do yoga. I want to spend Friday afternoons going to the Record Store with my husband, and I want to have space in my life to plan meals and buy groceries."

I realized a long time ago that the things I was good at didn't necessarily correlate to things I was energized by. I remember the first week of Junior Year of High School when I sat down with the Guidance Counselors, telling them that I didn't care how much aptitude I had in Advanced Biology, I hated it. They let me switch into Philosophy and Psychology under the auspices that I would be prevented from being valedictorian due to the heavy weighting the sciences received in determining class rank. But Philosophy class introduced me to writing, and the written word turned out to be a more integral part of my life than the dissection of fetal pigs was ever bound to be. For so many reasons, that was a good decision.

It's taken me just 6 months of taking classes to realize what I couldn't in 7 years of speculating about Grad School: it's not what I want right now. It's so weird, too, because I'm good at school. I can do school well...but I don't like who I become when I'm in school. I get bogged down by the pressure of the deadlines, and there is no space in my life to be the kind of person I want to be: creative, loving, and full of life.

Clay and I were just talking last night and realized that we've allowed our schedule to grow to the point that between the two of us, we have early morning commitments 5 days a week and evening commitments 6 days a week... Some of those are meetings, some of those are church commitments, some of those are weekly scheduled "fun time" with friends or students... Regardless, our schedule is running us, and there's little space for spontaneity. We want this to change, and step one is definitely me stepping out of school for the time being. Step two, three and four are TBA.

I feel like as American Christians we have to constantly traverse against the tide of busyness and clutter towards contemplation and space. In Clay and I's pursuit of the Lord, we need more space in our lives to be filled by Him. We need more space to walk through life together. Thus we move towards it.

How do you teach people how to think?

Clay asked the teens to submit questions they had about God so that he could address those topics during Youth Group. One of the questions was, "What does the Bible say about abortion?" Two nights ago, as Clay and I were dozing off, we were talking about how to respond to the question, which of course, reminded me of something I'm learning through church history.

How we respond to that question might actually be teaching the students more than what we teach them is "right." Because...in our moment of response, we can either present a set of prooftexts to support the agenda we already believe and give them the right answer--or--we can be brave enough to give the students the whole picture and teach them how to find the answers for themselves.

What I mean by, "brave enough to give students the whole picture" is this: tell them not just about the parts that say, "before you were born I knew you" and "I knit you together in your mother's womb," but also about the parts of the Bible that are more difficult...like...the part where God sends out the Plague to kill all the firstborn sons of Egypt. And then...teach them how to wade through their salvation with "fear and trembling...for it is God who works in you to will and to act, according to His good purpose." (Php 2:12b-13)

Focusing just on the list of prooftexts that support our belief is dangerous, because it means we're probably missing out on the whole picture...and we might be more attached to our own agenda than to the Lord's will. We might have even established our "biblically-based" perspective without sitting in "fear and trembling"...without taking the whole Bible into consideration...difficult questions like, "If God loves children, why does he send death to all the firstborn sons of Egypt?" In teaching students, if we just give them the "right" answer, we miss the opportunity to teach them how to wade through the complicated parts and find God in the midst of this.

Right now, I can recognize that this idea could offend some people. You might say, "But young people need to know the truth or they'll fall away!"--so let me just clarify one of my assumptions...I assume Scripture is the Word of God and worthy of teaching, but I don't think it necessarily always makes sense. And I don't necessarily think that teaching them the right answer is equivalent to teaching them the truth. We are utterly dependant on the Holy Spirit to guide our interpretation of Scripture...

Pretty much every week in Church History, we end up discussing a historical church argument...and in every controversy, we write a good, scripturally-based argument to support opposing viewpoints. Often, there's no clearly, "more Biblical," answer based just on prooftexts... Sometimes I hear people in class say, "Well, in this case, we just have to base the argument on Scripture," but unfortunately--it's not always that clear because can often find Scriptures to support two differing viewpoints. What do you do with that?

Usually, the early church ends up defending the side of the argument not so much because it's more "right," but because it's protecting some element crucial to our faith. In these cases, we ask, "If X is true, how does that contradict the nature of God as we see him in the whole context of Scripture?" Unfortunately, it seems like the current church is more convicted to lobby for their interpretations of the "right" answers.

If we just teach students the "right" answers, and not about the character of God, then there's a huge risk that the minute someone pokes holes in that "right" belief, their faith is going to crumble. We don't need to teach them to defend "right" perspectives--we need them to see and know who God is...we need to each them how to think about a question when they have one and know how to go about finding the answer...

...how do we teach them how to live out Philippians 2:12b-13: "Continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose?"
...how do we teach them wade through God's mystery?

A shout out to Kenya...and reflections on a global victory.

I'd like to take a moment to give a shout out to all my brothers and sistas in Kenya! It's been awhile since we've seen each other, but I'm so joy-filled that you can be inspired in this moment.

I was living in Kenya for five months during the fall of 2001, and my Kenyan brothers and sisters stood beside me, renouncing terrorism. They understood what America was going through, because just a few years before, bin Laden had bombed the U.S. Embassy in downtown Nairobi. They understood what it was like to be attacked on your own soil. I learned from them what it means to be a citizen of the world...to live in a global community. As I hear stories of President Kibaki declaring a national holiday in Kenya in honor of Obama, and I hear of celebrations taking place in Kisumu, my heart is just bursting.

I think of Alice, my Compassion sponsor child, living near Mt. Kenya, working in her garden with her parents...and I think about what it means for her to look at President-Elect Obama with a dream and know that her education through Compassion can lead her to places she's only dreamed about.

With every election, we elect one person. We elect their strengths. We elect their weaknesses. Certainly there are things to be mourned. Many of my brothers and sisters who are so disappointed that we are now inheriting Obama's weaknesses... I don't want to discount those. We have not elected a Savior, we've elected a governmental leader. There are things he has already done and will do that will disappoint us. We can mourn those disappointments.

But--is it possible to also take a moment to pause and celebrate the victory of this moment? I was so moved last night to see Jesse Jackson standing in the crowd at Grant Park weeping. He's spent 43 years involved in Civil Rights...he attended a segregated high school...he walked alongside Dr. King...and 40 years after Dr. King's death, Rev. Jackson can finally see the support of the entire nation behind a candidate who, just 44 years ago, could not even use the same public restroom as his running-mate. I cannot even imagine what this moment means to him.

I cannot imagine what this moment means to so many Africans, who dream of giving their children good educations so they can have a better life. I think of a woman I met in the slums of Nairobi who worked three jobs so she could pay the $24/month school fees for her son. I think of how all of these parents look at their children with hope, and how it would have been impossible for any of them, before now, to look at that child and say, "You can be President of the United States."

Kudos to the people of this nation today...one small step, one giant leap.

Silence, Obedience, Humility.

After enduring the last many months of water-cooler political conversations, I think I'm ready to be a Quaker or Amish or something...anything where I get to go live in the country, hum a lot, bake bread and not talk about politics. I wouldn't even mind washing my clothes by hand.

Last night, I was lying in bed, my heart heavy. I was burdened by the perspectives of so many Christian brothers and sisters, who place their faith in our political structure above their faith in our Lord. To my surprise, Mark Driscoll shared a message on his blog today that spoke to the exact concern I was feeling! (I say to my surprise, only because I often disagree with Mr. Driscoll's interpretation of the Word...and I was encouraged by his words today.)

In the early church, anytime the church and politics mingled, the church ended up sacrificing one agenda to pursue another agenda. In pursuit of purity, we might sacrifice grace. In pursuit of justice, we might sacrifice forgiveness. My question is regarding the way that Christians engage in and respond to politics today...by enagaging in the way we do with the issues we choose, what have we compromised?

P.S. Your election day song of contemplation is here.

Who's your source?

In Church History, I'm learning that it's important to evaluate peoples' sources...this makes sense, because if you're going to make a reputable argument, you want to make sure it's based on credible information. This does not seem to be the case in political campaigns...whoever can say the meanest things the loudest wins, regardless of their truth.

In History, the most valuable arguments need to be based on primary sources--the original documentation, the original testimonies. Also, the testimony of just one person represents one person's perspective, but to build a historical argument, it's helpful to have more than one person in accord.

I'm noticing that in the age of Facebook, Myspace and You Tube, there's a lot of disreputable propaganda floating around. I've received flyers telling me to vote "no" on I-1000 using the "proof" of slippery slope arguments. ("Don't vote for it, because it might lead to this!!!") Over the weekend I received several links and watched several TV ads defaming a political candidate based only on the testimony and conjecture of the author, who apparently knows the truth. ("Don't vote for ______ because that might lead to this!!!")

Since when are conspiracy theorists legitimate journalists? Since when do slippery slope arguments create a good line of defense?

Does anyone know the difference between propaganda and critical analyses? Worst of all, does anyone value the difference?

In the first 200 years of the church, Christians had to fight against conspiracy theories. The pagan culture accused Christians of committing infanticide, of engaging in orgiastic and incestuous worship services, and of cannibalism. The church had to fight conspiracy theories to show the truth about our faith.

But I'm frustrated to see so many Christians, who should value truth, engage in outright gossip about political candidates based on conjecture, word-of-mouth, and slippery arguments. Spreading rumors based on disreputable sources, and forwarding propaganda aimed at defaming someone else's name is gossip. It's outright gossip, and that's not okay.

If Christians really believe these candidates are the enemies, then we must follow the words of Christ: "Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven." (Matthew 5:44-45)

In the midst of persecution, the church of the 2nd and 3rd century was committed to praying for the Emperor who persecuted them, because God commanded them to. I urge you--quit defaming these candidates and start praying for them.

Stop the Polarizing! Have a conversation.

I don't like to discuss politics outside of the circle of my closest friends, because in casual conversations, it doesn't seem like most people are interested in dialogue. Politics and Religion are polarizing issues. When either Politics or Religion come into the discussion, we quickly lose the ability to listen. We either commend them for their intelligence or we start tuning them out, depending on whether or not they agree with us.

Sarah was telling me about how on a street corner in Anacortes on Sunday afternoons, the "anti-war" people stand on 3 street corners, and the "support our troops" people stand on another corner. They have posters and banners and megaphones. What's so fascinating to me is that those two groups of people are shouting on different street corners, thinking that they're on opposite sides of a battle. If they sat down to have a discussion, I wonder if that would still be true.

If they sat down to talk, maybe they'd find out that there are people with the "anti-war" signs that have sons and daughters in the military, and they are supporting troops by opposing what they feel is an unjust war. They oppose the military leaders putting their sons and daughters at risk in a war that they've never felt was justified. Maybe we'd find out that the "support our troops" people have been hurt by crazy "anti-war" people who discredit their son or daughter's service to the country, and that it's become easy to assume that the people who are "anti-war" are "anti-troops." They believe they're passionately defending their childrens' honor. Maybe if they sat down and had a conversation, they'd find out they had more in common than they thought--and that they share a commitment to care about our country's use of force. (This is idealistic, I know. Maybe they'd actually discover they were all mutually crazy to be standing on a street corner in the 40 degree rain in October when they could be inside watching the Seahawks lose.)

I work in a conservative community in the midst of an liberal region, and I've discovered that it's hard to have these discussions. Liberal Seattle and conservative Christians in/near Seattle don't spend a lot of time talking to each other. They coexist, but they don't dialogue.

I'd love to share dialogue, to tell you why I'm voting for a candidate I really believe in. I'd love to talk about what we believe the church's engagement with politics should be and what it should not be. I'd love to hear why you're choosing the person you're choosing, because I learn so much about you in hearing why you're voting the way you are...and I learn to see the issues from a new perspective.

If you're interested in starting a dialogue, here are some questions I've been pondering...maybe they'll help you bridge the gap instead of increasing the polarization:

• Why does opposing war imply someone does not support troops? What values do these two groups actually share, and where do they actually differ?
  
• What is there a difference between being pro-choice and pro-abortion?
  
• Should our government legislate morality?
  
• Where are the "anti-American" parts of our country? Why are they considered to be so?
  
• Why does the media spin a scenario into the rhetoric of scandal by attaching "gate" to the end, i.e. "troopergate"? What's the fascination with scandal?
  
• Why do the campaigns spend so much money buying advertisements and making robotized phone calls that no one listens to?
• What if Obama was a Muslim? Would that mean he was less American or less capable of the duties of President?
• Why is "muslim" a dirty word?
  

Everybody Should Study This!

Over the last four weeks of studying Early Church History at Fuller Theological Seminary, I keep thinking to myself, "Everybody should study this." It is rocking my world.

Why? It's old. They're dead. It was 2000 years ago. Why study it at all if it can't apply to ministry today?

Because it's really easy to look at today's church, read the words of Jesus, and get really frustrated that the ministry of the church doesn't look more like the ministry of Christ. It's easy to be angry that the church isn't unified in Christ.

Through my readings about the 1st and 2nd century church, my heart is changing. I'm no longer angry that our church is such a mess--I'm disappointed that I never learned this from my church. I'm disappointed because I believe that knowing our history would change the way we live and minister. After a month of readings, I'm no longer asking, "When did this become such a mess," rather, I'm asking, "How on earth did the church survive all this?! It's a miracle!" And I'm praising God for protecting the church and allowing it to grow and flourish at all.

In reading our history, I realize that many of my assumptions and frustrations with the church have been made in ignorance--and in reading about all of the adversities facing the early church, I'm filled with a compassion and love for the church I've never had before. When I see how dedicated and passionate our early church leaders were in their pursuit of Christ, I no longer care that the church is a mess--I'm just inspired to be a part of it.

Last night, I was sharing lots of these thoughts with Clay, and we were talking about the early church in Rome. Clay said something about that being the history of the Catholic church, and I piped up (with a great deal of passion), "No! That's our church history too! Our church didn't even exist until the 1860's...it didn't pop out of a void...it came from somewhere--so the history of the Early Church in Rome is the history of our church too!"

If we are truly one church united by Christ, than the church's history is our history, good, bad and otherwise. The martyrs and saints are our history, the split in 1054 is our history, the Spanish Inquisition is our history, the Reformation is our history.

I think a lot of times American Protestants see our roots in the early American church or the Reformation, and we don't look back any further than that. The Spanish Inquisition is something the Catholic church did, not us. Guess what?! Since there was not an American Protestant church in 1478, I'm pretty sure that that's a part of our church history too.

I know that Free Methodism started as a movement during the civil war, and before that we were apart of the Methodist movement begun by John Wesley in the 1730's. Studying the last 360 years of our history is good and fine, but there were 1638 other years of history in there before we got to the reformation, and there were thousands of years of Jewish history before that, which, since Jesus and the apostles were all JEWS is also a part of our history.

My whole point is, how can we possible respond to our present without knowing what we've gone through to get to this point? We're apt to throw out the lessons we've already learned or spend time on the details instead of using our past to illuminate where we should go in the future. We are apt to ignorantly schism ourselves away from our brothers and sisters without remembering that there have been so many times in our past (and presently--in China and so many countries) when we were united under the pressure of persecution.

Yesterday, I was inspired by the story of the martyrdom of Polycarp. Here's an early church Bishop who was killed by the Romans because he refused to worship the Emporor and recant Christ. His story was written down to share as an encouragement for other believers and to bear witness to the power of Christ. It is offensive that martyrs should ever die without the church celebrating and remembering their sacrifice. Please read, and then read Romans 12:1-2 and ask the Lord to illuminate new meaning of those words in your life. Allow early church history to rock your world!

What's So Bad About Praying?

This morning I felt tension -- the tension that happens when we see a problem and seek a solution when the solution's not obvious. One of my fellow staff came to me with a request to help brainstorm solutions to a complicated problem. Neither myself nor another staff, the purported expert in the field, had any great solutions. We offered ideas and insights, but we didn't have a "magic button" to fix the problem.

At the end of all of the discussing, I was feeling like we should pray. Because there were no other clear options.

But I'm bothered by this desire to pray... Why is it that I was only compelled to initiate prayer as the last resort instead of the first resort? Why is it that when my fellow staff person came in with the request for help, we didn't first pray, then wait upon the Lord, and then wait for a response before brainstorming our best ideas?

Why do we wait until there are no other good ideas to try before we pray? Why don't we pray first?

Maybe we don't want to overspiritualize praying for everything--i.e. praying about what shirt to wear today or what to eat for breakfast or where to go on family vacation.

I'm guessing for myself--the reason I don't go there first is pride. I'm proud when I can figure out a solution (in my own logical assessment and wisdom). That can puff me up! Also--in my pride, I don't like asking for help, so I want to do it on my own. Even more so in regards to pride, I'm sometimes turned off by hyperspiritual people who want to pray first for everything, because that can certainly be subject to false humility.

Another reason I don't go there is I forget. I forget that it honors the Lord when we seek Him first...that it pleases Him. I forget, so I go it alone, or I seek out earthly wisdom and advisors.

We didn't end up praying in that meeting this morning, but in hindsight, I see that prayer is always the "magic button." It's our direct line to the creator of the universe, who has more power to change situations or fix them than we do anyways...instead of sighing and shrugging and saying, "Well, since we've tried everything else, all we can do is pray..." why not respond with, "Before we try anything, let's pray...because that is the best we can do."

Presidential Debate #2: The Need for Better Citizenship

Last night Clay and I sat down to watch our third Presidential Debate of the 2008 Election Season. Partway through, I started making dinner, and I heard Clay turning on the PlayStation. I yelled from the kitchen, "Don't turn it off...I'm still listening!" and peeked around the corner to discover Clay had turned on picture-in-picture, with Obama and McCain on the big screen while he played PS3 in the small screen. "Don't you love this TV?" he replied. Apparently we both have short attention spans.

We're not up-to-date on the finer details of economic crises or in-the-know on the best approach to Pakistan or Iran, so it's hard to adjudicate their responses. What makes me sad is not that the debates are so boring for us to watch--it's that we're so ignorant about the topics they're discussing--which makes it boring. As voters, we know so very little about the economics involved in the Financial Bailout or the foreign policy needed with Russia or Pakistan. It honestly makes me question the reasoning for democracy, when I (a voter) am so uninformed about the complexity of governmental issues. I tend to vote based on what will benefit me the most, instead of pondering, as one questioning voter did last night, "what we might be compelled to sacrifice for the betterment of our country."

I'm confident that we need more than better leadership; we need better citizenship. So...I'm on a quest to be better informed about the issues of our government and our world so that the next time there's an election to be had, whether city, state, or federal, that I know more about the candidate that his/her party affiliation. Will you join me in this quest?

Christ: "And Culture" or "Against Culture"

Last night, in class 2 of 10 of my Early Church History at Fuller NW, we talked about a debate that's existed since the early days of the church: Should we present the gospel through the lens of the culture or as against culture?

I think that until last night, I've misunderstood the concepts. I previously understood that the model of "Christ and Culture" was always good: inclusive, supportive, walking alongside culture.
In my mind, the model of "Christ and Culture" was the Emmaus Road type of ministry--walking alongside of others and revealing the gospel to them gradually. Or Paul at the Aereopagus, building repoire with the thinkers of Athens before pointing them towards Christ...it esteemed them and pointed them towards Christ towards things they already know.

The model of "Christ against Culture" was always bad: narrowminded, exclusive, judgmental. But if I think about Christ's life, the model of "Christ against Culture" is there in his actions as well: Casting the Buyers and Sellers out of the Temple, or Jesus renouncing the cities who had not repented.

The benefits of the "Christ Against Culture" model are that we we can be holy--set apart (which doesn't mean we have to be sectarian). We can be "of Christ" and be something different while living in the culture...we can call people into repentance. In the "Christ and Culture" model, we can pick up the shards of truth in the culture, and as Justin Martyr taught, piece them together to show how Christ is in all of that Truth. We can illuminate the truth in the culture to point people towards Christ.

Looking at youth ministry, I see that the "Christ and Culture" model is much more effective in becoming friends with a student, but it doesn't necessarily mean that a student will develop a relationship with the Lord. The "Christ against Culture" model is more effective in seeing students make a commitment to follow Christ, but it doesn't necessarily result in a deep or long-lasting commitment.

Where I began in the discussion isn't exactly where I ended up the discussion...but before I share that--I'm curious to know--where are you and your ministry in this and why?

A New Approach to Lent: Tilling Dry Soil

For a large part of my adult life, I have observed Lent. This has typically meant "giving something up that I'm really fond of but it's kind of unhealthy." The first year I gave up soda, because I felt quasi-addicted. The second year I gave up dessert, because I was hoping to trim up a bit (bad motivation!) Another year, I gave up music, which was constantly playing in my car, in my apartment, and in my office. (Although I did permit music chosen by others, which was even more painful than the silence most times.) Last year, I gave up all forms of caffeine, which induced the most terrible headaches.

Why do I fast for Lent? Because it feels good to give something up. It feels good to take away something in my life I feel like I can't live without and surrender that desire. It's good to realize that caffeine and music aren't my Lords, Jesus is. I love this tangible reminder, and it always fills me with hope and new love for Christ.

This year, my observance of Lent is not going to be about fasting so much as it is going to be about renewing my commitment to the Lord as my first love. Clay has returned home from a weekend of traveling feeling convicted that our relationship needs to be much more diligently focused on the Lord...and fortunately...over the last few weeks, both of us have independently come to the conclusion that we have not been treating the Lord like our King, but more like a button we wear or a box we check.

So during Lent, we are renewing our commitments to the Lord as King of our life, and we are committing to pray and read His word daily. This morning, we started our daily readings out in Lectio Divina style. We began this Lectio Divina using the guided readings in a book called Enjoy the Silence. The book is actually marketed for youth leaders to use with teenagers, but it's application is not limited to teenagers...and we renewed by beginning our day with meditation on God's word.

Our reading this morning was in Luke 8 (The Parable of the Sower). The reading guide in Enjoy the Silence directed us to read through the passage three times, listening for new insights each time we read it...the third time through, we specifically stopped and meditated on the different kinds of soil in the passage, inviting the Lord to reveal to us what kind of soil our hearts most resembled.

It was evident to me that my heart was similar to the seed that "lacks moisture." I could feel my heart as parched and dry. I also got very distracted during our meditation about the seed the grows up in the thorny grounds, and woke up from my daydreaming to realize I was living out my own distraction in the midst of attempting to meditate. I was able to confess my dry and distracted spiritual life to the Lord and invite him to cultivate my heart into something that's ready to grow His word.

It's amazing what 30 minutes in the morning of silence and reading God's word can do to renew my heart. It feels like bringing a cup of cold water to my lips after a long hike in the desert.

I'm excited about what Lent will bring in 2008, and I'm excited to have a partner in my spiritual journey.

What does Lent mean to you? Does this all sound crazy or weird? How do you choose to celebrate Lent, if you do? Why do you think fasting is or isn't important?

Your First Love

Who or what is your first love? What's the thing you want most when you're tired or lonely or upset? Who do you think about when you first wake up?

Lately, I think my first love in the morning is my down comforter...or coffee...my first love in the afternoon is my lunch break...my first love in the evening is Lost on DVD...(Clay's been away this week, so we'll assume that Lost is taking a place usually taken by him.)

Based on the way I live my life, I wouldn't really call Christ my first love.

Last week, at our staff conference, one of our staff read to us from Revelations about the church in Ephesus (Rev 2):

I know your deeds, your hard work and your perseverance. I know that you cannot tolerate wicked men, that you have tested those who claim to be apostles but are not, and have found them false. You have persevered and have endured hardships for my name, and have not grown weary.

So the speaker is saying that the church in Ephesus did a lot of good stuff...they worked hard, did good things, kept wickedness from themselves, endured hardship, persevered. But they still weren't completely right in the Lord's eyes because of one simple reason:

Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken your first love. Remember the height from which you have fallen! Repent and do the things you did at first.

What are the things you do at first when you're in love? For me, it was staying up late at night to talk on the phone and spend time with Clay. It was saving up all of my available time and money to travel to see him. It was thinking of him a hundred times a day--sending him emails or text messages. It was seeing fabulous gifts in a store window that he would love and buying them for him.

What does it really mean to love Christ like this? With fresh eyes? With new love? What does it mean to make Christ your first love?

Let's Ditch Christmas and Make a Christ-Month

Since Saturday, I have visited all of the following shops:

Kohl's * Best Buy * Sally Beauty Supply * Adara Hair Salon * Macy's * JC Penney's * Foot Locker * Cascade Mall Movie Theater * Quick Lube * Sunny Teriyaki * Knot Just Yarn * USPS * PWG Design * Padgett and Padgett CPA's * NAPA * Red Robin * Skagit State Bank

In that time, I've also gone to church twice. Once was for the choir's Christmas program on Friday, and once was for Sunday morning church. Something's out of balance there, right? If there is sin to be confessed about falling prey to the consumerism of Christmas, let me first confess that my heart is not where it should be.

Christmas is really what we've made it...shopping, running errands, and preparing for cross-country plane flights. Let's just be honest...it's not really about Christ. This year it feels especially not about Christ because on top of the shopping, errands, and plane flights, are two weddings in two different states. Christmas just feels like it's getting in the way of all the other stuff I need to get done. That doesn't mean Christmas is about bad things; it's about family, loved ones, bringing them joy by giving them fantastic gifts we've worked so hard to find.... But it's not about Christ.

You know what would be really great...if we moved Christ's birthday to a month like February. People mostly stay indoors in February, and they're in the process of paying off the credit card, so there are no outings to be had. What if we changed February to Christ-month. We could easily move Black History Month to January, so it could culminate with Martin Luther King's Birthday. We could move President's Day to July 5th, since everybody usually takes an extra day off then anyways. And February could just be about Christ. We could still have Christmas in December, only, we could rename it per my friend Stuart's suggestion: MeMas.

What would Christ-month look like? Lots of worship services and corporate prayer. Maybe a morning and evening vesper service everyday. Maybe some fasting. (Woah--this brainstorm is starting to sound like Ramadan!) So--we wouldn't want it to be crazy legalistic, but we would want it to be holy.

And we could title it what it would be about:"Christ-month: Getting Back on Track." It would be a chance to reunite from the way we've strayed away from Christ throughout our pagan holiday celebrations, when we erect a golden Christmas tree in our living room and lay our gift offerings at its feet. Instead, during Christ-month, we would kneel humbly beside a tattered wooden cross and lay our lives down at Christ's feet.

I know I'm supposed to sacrifice daily, but would it be so bad to have one time a year to really get back on track? A realignment towards North? Maybe that's what Lent is supposed to be...that time of preparing ourselves to bring our own sacrifice to Christ in honor of the sacrifice he's made for us at Easter. Maybe I'm already thinking past Me-Mas and looking forward to Lent, knowing it will lead me back to Him.

Would you join me in celebrating Christ month?

Boycott the Golden Compass? Yes or No

So, there's a lot of hubbub going around in Christendom saying that I should actively boycott a movie I know very little about. In fact, the only reason I now know anything about The Golden Compass is because I receive emails saying I should boycott it...and there seem to be about 500 groups on Facebook dedicated to not supporting it.

I really hate jumping on an "anti-this or anti-that" bandwagon before I know anything other than something's "anti-God." It certainly is wise to check into things before tromping off with the whole family to see a film like Narnia only to discover you're closer to Dimension X. At the same time, it's also wise to know something about something before you start boycotting it.

I've never read the books...the trailer looks interesting enough...and I certainly am not worried I'll lose my Christianity by going to see it. I'm guessing I'll probably see it on DVD and I'll probably read the first books--if not the whole trilogy--at some point, because I like epic fantasy good vs. evil flicks...and it's a bit fascinating to think about watching a side of the story where good doesn't win...and think about what that would look like.

My question is why is it so many Christians' response to boycott something the minute they hear it may be anti-God? Is our God so small that He cannot overcome an anti-Him movie? And why is it okay to forward hate-mail about a movie you're never going to see based on a book you've never read? What's going on here?

Are you going to go see the movie? Why or why not.

Willow Creek Apologizes

So Willow Creek Church is definitely one of the most influential churches in America. In October, Bill Hybels, their pastor, comes out and says, "We made a mistake."

Apparently Willow Creek has built their ministry on making programs and measuring people's participation in programs. The assumption they operated under was that if people are active in Bible studies, weekly meetings, and other programs, then they're growing spiritually. A recent survey indicated this is not actually the case, and Willow Creek is now going to completely start over.

You can read about Bill Hybel's interview here.

My response to this is two-fold:

1. I am so thankful that a Christian leader is able to confess to the church, "We made a mistake." It's so refreshing to have that kind of raw honesty and humility from an "influential church leader."
   
   
2. I am glad to hear someone acknowledge that program attendance does not equal spiritual growth. There are so many churches out there running to keep up with the big guys and develop cool and attractive programs, that the church spends more time trying to keep people entertained involved than actually helping them develop a deeper relationship with Christ.

It challenges me to openly acknowledge my own weaknesses, because my confessions have the ability to minister to others. It also challenges me to be in immense prayer about the decisions I make in leadership--knowing that we can be boldly leading others down a less-than-ideal path.

The Irresistible Revolution

A Recommended Read: The Irresistible Revolution by Shane Claiborne.

I picked this read up at SPU's bookstore a few weeks ago while visiting Lizzy, one of my graduated YD students. I found purchasing it--well--irresistible.

Shane spoke at the YS National Youth Worker's Conventions last fall, and I got to see this akward, earthly, passionate man share with us the simple way that he lives his life in order to bring glory to God and be Christ to people. This means he hangs out with homeless people, lives with few possessions, and is immersed in trying to minister to the "least of these."

Clay and I have taken to reading the book aloud on Thursday nights, and last night, in Chapter Three, something spoke so directly to me. (I've left the book at home, so it's missing the exact page reference and citation. I'll correct this as soon as I have my copy of the book.) Something on the order of, "We made a decision to stop complaining about the church as it was and started trying to become the church we'd all dreamed of."

The church I dream of is definitely active, moving in ministry, not just talking about it...and the church I dream of is honest and vulnerable, openly confessing the screw ups. I guess if I want to become that church, I have to do one of two things--actually take actions to serve others, and be confessional and humble about my weaknesses and screw ups.

What's the church you dream of? How can you live it out?

Is Being Honest Being Brave?

Last night, as Clay and I sat in my car and talked after youth group, I made an honest and surprising confession: "I don't like coming to youth group."

That's a pretty revolutionary statement, considering that I've spent most Wednesdays for the last three years volunteering with youth group...

We don't really know what that means yet--if I should step down, if I should wait it out or what. Right now I'm just going to take some time to think and pray about it.

What I do know is that I'm excited to be a change agent in our church and community, and having Wednesday nights to really pursue my heart's desires could be a better thing for me, the church, and the community. For instance, I'm interested in doing a public showing of Amazing Grace at our church and then having a dialogue about modern-day slavery afterwards...perhaps working towards some points of action with people in the church.

So right now--I don't know what this honest confession means. There's part of it that feels like it's violating something--maybe just violating this idea that I'm the 'youth' girl. But there's another part of me that thinks that being honest about it is being brave--brave enough to step into a ministry more uncertain, more undeveloped...

I'll keep you posted.

Not For Sale

27 million people are enslaved today worldwide. Did you know this?

A few weeks ago, Clay and I went to David Batstone speak at Seattle Pacific University. David is the author of a book called Not for Sale and the founder of a non-profit of the same name.

To say that I was moved by the presentation is a bit of an understatement. I was convicted to act. Clay teaches his teens that your Christian walk is the way you serve others. If this is true--it means that faith is more than belief and accepting Jesus as your savior--it's how you serve your brothers and sisters, particularly how you serve widows, orphans, and any oppressed peoples. And here--in the USA in 2007 are people living in bondage...racking up debts they can never pay off...enduring forced labor...enslaved...

I'm looking for ways to get involved in this, and I don't have a lot of clarity yet. I hope to start by reading David's book and other similar books produced by the International Justice Movement. I'm trying to figure out how I can best be a part of this abolitionist movement.

For now--I'd recommend you watch this video and visit the website and check out the book yourself. In a sermon series from last summer, Rob Bell said that "God always hears the cry of the oppressed." And he responds to it...so if we're not being oppressed--whose side are we on??

Jesus Video #3

A few winters ago, a visiting pastor shared these videos during a Sunday morning sermon. They had the congregation, as Renee would say, "in stitches."

For whatever reason this morning, I remembered how this video delighted me so much--to hear modern-day Christians' words come out of Jesus' mouth.

Mine favorite quote from the clip definitely, "I'd repeat it, but I can't, because I'm Jesus."

Watch it, be inspired, and then tell me--what's your favorite not really Jesus saying?

Rob Bell...I heart you...

Last night Clay and I went to Seattle to see Rob Bell on his The Gods Aren't Angry tour. I've been listening to Rob, reading his books, and watching his Nooma videos for the past year...and I just love this guy. His presence while communicating is stellar, and his content is fascinating. He asks real questions in an understandable way...and he teaches me so much about the context of our faith.

I was really challenged by him to let go of the things I'm trying to earn--mostly other people's favor... He reminded me that I've already been saved and there is nothing more to do but celebrate what God has done for me.

If you haven't read or listened to Rob, do it. Now. Click on the video below.