Haven't we all felt like this.

I feel a bit like this lately:

Siddhartha--as he thinks about his current place in this world--and as he seeks out spiritual wholeness--

"At times he heard, deep in his breast, a soft and dying voice that admonished softly, lamented softly, barely audible. Then for an hour he was aware that he was leading a strange life, that he was doing all sorts of things that were merely a game, that he was cheerful, granted, and sometimes felt joy, but that real life was flowing past him and not touching him. Like a juggler juggling his balls, he played with his business, with the people around him, watched them, enjoyed them; but he never participated with his heart, with the wellspring of his being. The wellspring ran somewhere, as if far from him, ran and ran, invisible, having nothing to do with his life. And sometimes he was startled by such thougths and wished that it could be granted him to participate with passion and with all his heart in the childlike doings of the day, to live really--to act really, to enjoy really, and to live really instead of merely standing on the side as a spectator."

Siddhartha by Hermann Hesse