Soul's Core

then I hear a voice from
my soul's core sayin "freedom's just a
metaphor, you got nowhere to go"

Suzanne bought me an old Shawn Mullins CD for my birthday this year, and I've taken up playing it when it seems that my soul's all restless and sad. It's titled Soul's Core, and I suppose it's thus titled because that's where Shawn wrote these songs.

This week has been restless and sad for me for no other reason that it's what I have felt in my soul's core this week. Don't know why exactly (or maybe it's that I do know why and I don't want to admit that such a thing has that much power over me, which is more likely).

I just think it's amazing that we can never really hide what's going on inside--only bury it--and if we bury it, then it just resurfaces later...so I've chosen not to bury it, which has resulted in making for an overall sad state to my week.

I am back on the river this weekend...and thinking about that just makes me feel more tired than I already am. I'll be on the Wenatchee, which is where I was last weekend. The river is big, and I don't plan on being certified on it until at least next summer...but I think being on the river and being with some good friends will bring some healing and rest in itself.

I said "I don't reckon i'll be makin it big,
you know it's hard to get rich
off a tout of coffee house gigs"
and he said "yeah, but ain't it a blessin
to do what you wanna do..."