A Weekend in Review: Wenatchee Raft Guide Training

This is how an abridged interpretation of how a typical weekend of Raft Guide Training goes...

1. Pack up belongings mid-afternoon on Friday.

2. Lose keys.

3. Unpack all belongings looking for keys.

4. Not find keys.

5. Call AAA to get car unlocked in case they are in car.

6. Call carpool to let them know I will be late.

7. Get car unlocked by AAA and discover keys are not in car.

8. Use spare key in glove box (placed strategically for such an occasion) and drive to carpool.

9. Drive with 4 other rafting guides with gear and no legroom to Stonewater Ranch (two hours over mountain pass) while finishing up afternoon work on laptop and riding backseat-middle.

10. Arrive at Stonewater Ranch. Greet friends. Prepare for three trips down the river on Saturday/Sunday. Stay up too late catching up.

11. Wake up at 0'Dark-Thirty. Dress self in neoprene wetsuit and various layers of wool and acrylic clothing that smells like stagnant river water.

12. Cram 12 guides into 1978 Bright Orange van on its 11th of 9 lives and drive to the River Put-In to meet guest paddlers who will be acting as live bait during today's training session.

13. Hop up and down like manic bunny rabbit using air pumps to top-off the inflation of nine bright orange whitewater rafts.

14. Use phrases like, "How many Extrasports do we need?" "Has anyone seen the other blower?" "Where's the other lead bag?" and other various jargon that is meaningless outside of current social circle.

15. Greet 60 timid-looking guest paddlers in awkwardly fitting neoprene wetsuits who look simultaneously excited, disoriented, and self-conscious.

16. Grab 8 of the 60 guests and introduce them to my boat, a beautiful orange Sotar.

17. Teach basic paddle commands and review safety procedures.

18. Shove boat into water and hop in.

19. Spent several hours instructing crew in proper maneuvering through whitewater rapids that are growing bigger daily while trying to facilitate community-building, depth in spiritual discussion, and general fun and safety on the river.

20. Carry boat around lowhead dam, explaining to Junior High boys that the dam would actually eat them for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, regardless of their own perception that they can swim through it.

21. Repeat Step 19.

22. Arrive at take-out and wave bye to crew and collect their wet, smelly gear.

23. Pack boats onto trailer and drive back to Stonewater Ranch.

24. Eat dinner.

25. Spend time playing Bocci Ball with other raft staff and discovering the power in using analogies on the river to teach kids about Spiritual topics. Rejoice that I was a member of the winning Team Red.

26. Stay up too late talking with friends.

27. Repeat steps 11 through 22 for trip #2 of weekend (amend gear being worn to now be wet from the day before and smellier than the day before.)

28. On the drive back to the put-in, have van break down. Immediately unload gear and unhook trailer full of rafts while eating lunch with 12 other guides on the side of Highway 2. Wave at passersby (good marketing opportunity with bright orange raft billboards on side of highway.)

29. Find alternate van to haul trailer.

30. Cram 12 guides and gear into white, 15-passenger van and finish drive to put-in, where guests are waiting for trip #3 of the weekend.

31. Repeat steps 13-23.

32. Eat dinner at 8pm.

33. Drive two hours home.

34. Amend two hour drive home to include extra stop to Shell Gas Station in Everett because carpool friend's car won't start.

25. Arrive home at 11:00pm.

26. Immediately go to sleep, leaving wet clothes in tied-up, plastic bag and praying they won't smell too bad by the time I get around to washing them tomorrow evening.

27. Wake up and go to work like normal on Monday, eager for Friday, when I get to do it all again.


I'm getting ever-closer to being a true Wenatchee Whitewater Guide...only a few more weekends of reading the river and learning to better control my boat and hit the rapids with 100% accuracy all while facilitating a discussion that helps students learn more about having a relationship with Jesus Christ. It's not too complicated of a task to master, right?

I have thoughts on how amazing the opportunity to be mentored and trained in this skill area is...I'll post more tomorrow.